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Don’t Let Ego Hijack Your Insights And Harm Your Relationships

In the course of our daily lives, we are constantly making judgements, evaluating our own actions and feelings as well as those of others. We are rewarded for our sound judgements and penalized for our bad judgements.Judgements are proactive when you decide how to act and what to say in certain situations based on your experience and insight. Judgements are reactive when it evaluates past actions, words or feelings.

As a spiritual practitioner makes progress on the path, he or she will experience more and more flashes of insights into past, present or even future situations. When these insights are applied to oneself, they can lead to faster progress on the path of spiritual evolution.

However, often these insights may concern another person’s behavior or situation and we are tempted to help by pointing out the cause and effect scenario that we think we can clearly see through. Stop and consider before giving gratuitous guidance.

Insights come through from our developing a stronger connection to our higher mind called the buddhi and shows the early stages of wisdom. In contrast to wisdom which is anchored in the consciousness of Self-Realization beyond the buddhi, insights are still subject to mental duality and the tyranny of the ego. The insights from buddhi still has to become thoughts in the sensory ego-mind, the manas. Therefore, all insights should be handled with caution.

When we are tempted to share our insights with someone else, to “help” that person, we must consider whether that person will benefit or appreciate your insight. Remember that there are two egos involved here – yours and that of the person you’re trying to help. Even if you are not motivated by ego and are not judging the other person but only focusing on his or her actions, it is highly unlikely that this person you are intending to counsel can separate their actions from their sense-of-self. Consequently, if you criticize his or her actions, it will be considered a personal attack. You will be attacked back as being judgemental.

Being judgemental carry the meaning of being overly critical in an unhelpful way. We should avoid making judgements in ways that have harmful or negative consequences.

If you have not been asked to help with your insight, you should most probably refrain from doing so or learn how to communicate in a non-judgemental, empathatic and supportive manner, which in itself is a difficult task as one cannot be certain what words can trigger an adverse reaction from a sensitive ego. There is a real danger of damaging your relationships, sometimes permanently.

Until one is anchored in one’s True Self, there is always the threat of being influenced by egocentric motivations, however subtle.e

The spiritual practitioner should utilize his or her gifts of insight to first further oneself in attaining a state of wisdom before attempting to guide others. Avoid the ego trap of judgementalism which can harm others as well as yourself by incurring unnecessary bad karma. Wisdom will provide the key to give the right guidance in the right manner at the right time.